I am not sure if I may be the only mother going through this today, however I feel that it is not just me alone. Through the chaos to the silence back to the chaos ones sanity could get lost on days that seem should be so easy, yet let not forget that what seems to be so easy never is until done. I have never thought something that seemed so easily done could be furthest from the truth, the battle of the titans, earth quaking, shattering peace days, the days of Doctors appointment, Dentist appointment, Optometrists appointment OH MY. Serious now this is something I would of never thought would be the day of the battle of royals.
I always believed that it be a day ok appointment, go to, come home and done, well I should of known that nothing is ever as easy as thought, some things yes but appointments oh no. As I feel the days approaching for any appointments, the more stress, sanity and hair loss, the endless "please can we reschedule the day, to "I don't want to go, I'm not going, you can't make me", to the endless tears as though it was something of the worse ever to happen to them, well to my daughter anyways. Oh how I miss the baby days where not a peep was made, stress was no where to be found and a beautiful head full of hair, yes the endless picks are a lot to take in and the cry of your baby breaks your heart but it is no where near how it is today now that she is older and oh so vocal.
My heart truly goes out to all the mommies that go through this, I hope honestly that this is not just something that happens to me, but I have a good feeling it is not, yes I take sympathy in that no one really loves to go through the doctors, the dentists, the optometrists appointments yet wow the sanity of and through it all lays thin in the weeks and days before. Also for me I am quite the sensitive person to these kinds of things and do not deny that I feel the little bit of worrisome of it all, just the thought of wanting your child to be ok and not hearing bad news, it is natural to have that little bit of being scared in you but to be so stressed out to the max is hazardous to your own self, and in actuality that stress can be felt by your child as well.
So after all there has to be a happy medium in this all, for me I am still striving to find that, yet in it a little I do know the more comforting and supportive, loving you are the better the ease to the anxiousness of the appointments ahead. I think for me what lays deep inside me to bring out the fears of the appointments is the tragic loss of my husband that I know just how fast life can change, yet through it I have to remind myself my daughter is not my husband and this is her body not his, her life is not destined of the same as her fathers, but still in my heart it lays heavy, to every test, appointment, that comes our way, a big sigh of relief comes when you smile in seeing your child go through it all so bravely, yet you ask yourself then why such a fuss before the actual day of going? ha ha.
Not long ago I could not believe how brave my little girl was, but in days before oh boy what a battle, it was her first time getting blood work done also an X-ray as well, I knew that it be the strongest of earth quaking fuss the days before. The day came and I could of never been the proudest mom as I watched my little girl face her fears so bravely without a tear in sight as she sat and sang along to her favorite song, with the ladies all around her very intelligently keeping her distracted. My heart sighed after all the high stress levels of the days before, the crying, the fear, the fuss, the tantrums, as I looked to her I smiled in knowing just how brave she is and was and to watch her run into the waiting room smiling so proud looking for her papa, the waiting room applauding for her, watching other little boys and girls knowing if they were afraid that my daughter comforted their thoughts.
I shake my head in loss of why can not the bravery be in the days before each and every appointment, yet know that as an adult no matter how many times we have been to so many appointments it is still a little uneasy for us as well, and being a child they just don't know any better to express that, so they look to us for comfort, as they chip away at our sanity lol. It is a tad easier if we tell them exactly why they are going and what to expect however the fight of the titans is still there. Kicking and screaming they go, like Dr Jekyll, Mr Hyde you see your child go from one to the other. The phases of the life of a child. My daughter has shown me the endless phases in the life of a child, how each growth is a phase gained yet not too long after a phase faded along comes a new one.
After all is done over with, the silence captures your ears, you sigh in relief yet until the next time, this is where I missed the other half of my life, because in the midst of the chaos having that extra person helped the sanity in the ease of having that extra support with you, yet being there all in full of love for your child, knowing it won't be forever eases the mind a little, impatiently waiting for the day they no longer have to feel afraid and shake the world with the fight of all fights and fuss. It to me seems much more comforting in finding someone to go with you, to just have that extra person for comfort, to show your child it is not at all scary if they see others around with them, that other people are there that love and support them. That extra security behind them, along with you.
I can't remember the day it all changed, never ever heard a peep from my daughter than all of a sudden boom its a battle royal going on in my world after knowing of appointments to be done. That's why I do believe there are definitely phases our child go through in their lives, from one different to the next, you start to wonder about the story you were told being true and seeing it before you the roller-coaster ride of being a parent, that you once rolled your eyes to now comes back biting you in the behind, through it all though there is nothing that we would change for anything in this world, well maybe on the days your ears want to bleed ha ha.
Trying to figure out what change will just leave you feeling more lost then before, so let go of the "what has changed?", to just hanging on tight and being the loving parent you are no matter how hard you want to run. In the end I do believe when the calmness comes it is all in the calmness of your own self that they see in you, the love, support, showing it will be ok shows them on that day it really is going to be ok, however their forgetfulness for the next appointment always occurs. I think on the next time around I am going to video tape how brave she was to show her in the days before, yet as I said before phases, phases, phases soon enough this to shall pass, kind of scared to see what the next one will be ha ha. Life as a single mom can be upside down, yet in that upside down is our life, our love, in the upside down is where we see the peace and love that never went anywhere. Upside down with love is better right side up with no love.
Helpful hint 101, bringing something that means a lot to your child, this I found out helped more than I thought it would, it keeps them occupied and mind off the time they are sitting around to think and wonder. There is no sure way to calm the storm of the days before but the more you talk about what will happen the more you can see your child is easing up in the fight that they are giving.
Being quiet some where with them telling them and easing their minds that you are with them, that you would never let anything bad happen to them, to answering all their screeching questions does seem to quiet the storm an stop the tears. There is no answer for why this occurs except perhaps it's all about the unknown, as it is for us the unknown is scary to us as well but once there and seeing for yourself what it is all about all your anxiousness disappears, so same as a child, except to a child it is ten times scarier than as it is to us.
We to dread the unknown, and when faced to the days before we tend to get a little worried of all the what, when, where, hows, of it will be but we know how to cope with it better, our child does not in an adult way and the only way to show it is through what they know best fussing, tears, pushing your buttons ha ha it is just a child like ways. Sometimes I feel I could do just the same, sometimes we do, tears shed, complaining, so in no difference it is as a child, knowing and showing your child that what you feel happens to you shows them that no matter what facing your fears is always a surprise in seeing it was never a fear at all, that in that fear you felt so good for being so brave, and in that the more you do it the more you see it becomes easier each time.
I do know that the more you reflect that stress of it all getting to you the more your child can feel that and feeling it from you only makes them that much more afraid, upset and scared. It is not only when their babies they can sense what you feel it is all through their life, never leaving them even as an older young person that bond will always be there, they will always sense what it is your are giving off of yourself. So to relax, peace of mind, show them you are not getting bothered by what they do in the days ahead shows them really that here should be no fuss or being afraid at all, this is not perfectly perfected but it certainly has lightened the roars of the battles and
besides there is no such thing as perfect.
Keep calm, smile no matter how much you want to cringe in the battle is all the more your child sees that you are not stressing, or giving off any kinds of negativity for them to feel and feed off of, I am so far from being an expert but just sharing what I have come to realize through it all. That little bit of peace and ease goes a long way compared to the loss of hair and wanting to run away as it was before lol. I know there are some mommies out there going through this, I say to you find that extra person for that day a friend, family member anyone you feel comfortable with, it eases the nerves of the battles you fight with in the days before, it also shows your child the extra support for them there as well.
Being honest, upfront and explaining helps so very much, you still have the fight of fights happen yet it becomes less and lighter. Comfort, love, support, and added confirmation goes a long way, sympathizing an understanding and most of all not fretting and giving off and negativity will only prove that if they see you calm then why are they freaking out so much, all the same as it is to not giving in to tantrums, once they see your not flinching they see why bother to keep going for something they see you not reacting to. So keep your beautiful hair, your sanity, smile and tread lightly and ever so gracefully ladies, show your little ones that life is fear but fear is nothing but a gift.
~ Miracle ~
I can't remember the day it all changed, never ever heard a peep from my daughter than all of a sudden boom its a battle royal going on in my world after knowing of appointments to be done. That's why I do believe there are definitely phases our child go through in their lives, from one different to the next, you start to wonder about the story you were told being true and seeing it before you the roller-coaster ride of being a parent, that you once rolled your eyes to now comes back biting you in the behind, through it all though there is nothing that we would change for anything in this world, well maybe on the days your ears want to bleed ha ha.
Trying to figure out what change will just leave you feeling more lost then before, so let go of the "what has changed?", to just hanging on tight and being the loving parent you are no matter how hard you want to run. In the end I do believe when the calmness comes it is all in the calmness of your own self that they see in you, the love, support, showing it will be ok shows them on that day it really is going to be ok, however their forgetfulness for the next appointment always occurs. I think on the next time around I am going to video tape how brave she was to show her in the days before, yet as I said before phases, phases, phases soon enough this to shall pass, kind of scared to see what the next one will be ha ha. Life as a single mom can be upside down, yet in that upside down is our life, our love, in the upside down is where we see the peace and love that never went anywhere. Upside down with love is better right side up with no love.
Helpful hint 101, bringing something that means a lot to your child, this I found out helped more than I thought it would, it keeps them occupied and mind off the time they are sitting around to think and wonder. There is no sure way to calm the storm of the days before but the more you talk about what will happen the more you can see your child is easing up in the fight that they are giving.
Being quiet some where with them telling them and easing their minds that you are with them, that you would never let anything bad happen to them, to answering all their screeching questions does seem to quiet the storm an stop the tears. There is no answer for why this occurs except perhaps it's all about the unknown, as it is for us the unknown is scary to us as well but once there and seeing for yourself what it is all about all your anxiousness disappears, so same as a child, except to a child it is ten times scarier than as it is to us.
We to dread the unknown, and when faced to the days before we tend to get a little worried of all the what, when, where, hows, of it will be but we know how to cope with it better, our child does not in an adult way and the only way to show it is through what they know best fussing, tears, pushing your buttons ha ha it is just a child like ways. Sometimes I feel I could do just the same, sometimes we do, tears shed, complaining, so in no difference it is as a child, knowing and showing your child that what you feel happens to you shows them that no matter what facing your fears is always a surprise in seeing it was never a fear at all, that in that fear you felt so good for being so brave, and in that the more you do it the more you see it becomes easier each time.
I do know that the more you reflect that stress of it all getting to you the more your child can feel that and feeling it from you only makes them that much more afraid, upset and scared. It is not only when their babies they can sense what you feel it is all through their life, never leaving them even as an older young person that bond will always be there, they will always sense what it is your are giving off of yourself. So to relax, peace of mind, show them you are not getting bothered by what they do in the days ahead shows them really that here should be no fuss or being afraid at all, this is not perfectly perfected but it certainly has lightened the roars of the battles and
besides there is no such thing as perfect.
Keep calm, smile no matter how much you want to cringe in the battle is all the more your child sees that you are not stressing, or giving off any kinds of negativity for them to feel and feed off of, I am so far from being an expert but just sharing what I have come to realize through it all. That little bit of peace and ease goes a long way compared to the loss of hair and wanting to run away as it was before lol. I know there are some mommies out there going through this, I say to you find that extra person for that day a friend, family member anyone you feel comfortable with, it eases the nerves of the battles you fight with in the days before, it also shows your child the extra support for them there as well.
Being honest, upfront and explaining helps so very much, you still have the fight of fights happen yet it becomes less and lighter. Comfort, love, support, and added confirmation goes a long way, sympathizing an understanding and most of all not fretting and giving off and negativity will only prove that if they see you calm then why are they freaking out so much, all the same as it is to not giving in to tantrums, once they see your not flinching they see why bother to keep going for something they see you not reacting to. So keep your beautiful hair, your sanity, smile and tread lightly and ever so gracefully ladies, show your little ones that life is fear but fear is nothing but a gift.
~ Miracle ~
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