From the moment we find out we have a little person growing inside of us so many things go on in our minds, we are responsible for these little miracles, for bringing them up the best way we know how even if not known just what exactly that means and how, we think of the forever responsibility that lasts a life time, that the little human growing looks up to us, yet as we frantically look for the book of "do it right parenting" we never are able to find, that book and information will never be found, we make up our own book, our own ways, our own beliefs, we take the lead to be the person we want our child to be. A miracle precious gift that grows in us more and more as we so impatiently wait for, yet worry of the hows, dos, whats, we yet still in excitement cherish every little kick, move, late night uncomfortable with a smile knowing this is creation created with love.
I remember the first day of finding out that the miracle of life has been blessed upon me, however I worried so much of how labor would be I never thought of what would be after that. From the moment you find out until the day they are born that bond forms in an instant, that mother instinct you thought you would never be known of how to, finds a way to your heart building a love like no other. That's exactly what it is all about, unconditional love for the life you're about to give birth to. In that love you find your ways through the ups, downs, highs, lows, the frightening colds, and all things unknown. You find strength in the miracle of love created through you to find the ways through it all together.
There was no possible way to ever prepare for the glorious of love birthed into this life, only the love that lead you to all that you needed to get through. No parenting is right or wrong, we all are individuals and our individual love guides us all in our own way to nurture the great love we gave life to. Parenting is far from easy, mistakes are made, but in those mistakes are lessons that teach you to become the stronger parent you become so quickly. The scary falling downs, scrapes and bruises, through it with that heart full of love soothes the little tears that fall. There are no failures, mistakes are lessons, if you lead from your heart for the great love between you and your child you will never lead on the wrong path. Love of the greatest is all a child needs to feel, know, and always know that it is there.
I never thought our child would be with out a parent, the thought never entered my mind, even to me back then I believed a child should have a mother and a father in their life, blinded to the future unknown. Even though for my whole life I was raised by a single mom, and in that I turned out to be just fine, the respect and admiration to my mom made me understand that my thoughts were not clear, that even brought up with just one parent, if with love the life would shine bright, even though I could not imagine taking on the roles of two parents, the thought frightened me, yet I knew it was of a very strong unconditional love that would bring that single parent through anything that they would face. I looked back to my life as a child knowing there were times of great struggles but my mother never ever let the great love for me and my brother fade through it all, she showed us both just exactly what you could do if you kept the strength, the love, the faith and all belief going.
Six years after my little girl was born I became a widow to never thinking what that meant along with it, single mom. Once I started to understand that now it was just me raising our little girl, there were moments of hyperventilation, tears, pain, fear, great fear, no words can ever describe the feeling in me that came over me when not only I knew I was widowed but with that came single mom. After all the emotions through the unbreakable love, I come to understand that yes it would be hard yet rewarding to the soul, I soon looked to it with the heart of positive, each day not only would I represent myself as mom, I would also represent the love of her father, even though not here the love remains and the love he had for his little girl was beyond this life. I won't lie, the roller-coaster, exhaustion, struggles, pain kept me forever in a scare, especially in moments that were special that I could not be excited along with her father, or the times of the scares, I didn't have that shoulder to lean back on, but I soon learned that leaning towards my little girl was the love of her father as well.
Being a single parent is not a fault, curse, victim, it means your stepping it up to be two people in one, and through that the love you build becomes stronger each day that goes by, to look back on it all you smile in knowing in your heart that you did that, you see the smile on your child's face knowing that the love never fades, the love of your child is unconditional and in that what ever you face through it you will find your ways to get through the high tides that come on strong but ease in the love you bare for your child. Is it true that being a single mom means your child won't grow to be all that they can be? NO, because in love all good things are set free to brighten the world to shine upon the darkest of moments. If you be the role model you want to see your child be than it will be. We are not perfect but our child sees through that imperfection to know life is not perfect, that mistakes, failures and struggles are for growth, knowledge and a teaching. Does our child love us any less because they see just one parent?, NO because they appreciate you so much more for being able to nurture them to being the big dream catchers they see us being, they see that we alone had the strength, courage, power and endless love to forever be there for them.
In some eyes single moms may seem as failure, or weakness, it is those people that do not walk through the situation of being a single mom to understand that it is not what they see, until put in the same situation no one really ever knows of the reality of just how it is, just the same as the day I became a widow, I never knew of how it was until dealt with the situation, the opinions of others who have no idea of the situation is just words spoken to go through one ear out the other. In society there are many of opinions, yet all that matters is your own, and the life you are helping to grow, that in your heart you know it is of the best you are doing. Being a single mom is precious to me, I find myself taking the each and every present moment with the greatest of love looked out into the world, I see in many of moments life through my little girls eyes, the purest of ways to see life. When you hear those " I love yous" you know deep within that you've done good, it's a gratefulness beyond measures.
I always worried being a little girl with no father how heart wrenching it was to me that it pained me so much to see my little girl fatherless, yet in different circumstances I paused with all my heart to focus on the strong lady I became today to understand it is through forever love for your child where they blossom into the brightest of lights, it's not about not having that extra parent, it's about giving that extra love, letting them know no matter what you are there, that your love is endless. It's about showing you are only human, that sometimes there will be tough situations, but through it you rise every time for the love of your child.
Your child sees that, they see there is not anything you would not do for them, they see the 24 hour job you do with no breaks, holidays, sick days, they see that greater than life love you have created around them to grow with great love, great strength, dreams to be caught, they see what it is you do and feel that love to know they to can be that person, that they can be the person they want to be, they smile in knowing you always believed they could, they understand that life is not easy, you are the person they learn to be. They get the greatest of strength in seeing through the hard times you made it through the other side. Your child through starts to understand they can become and do what ever it is they want to, it's in the moments of great admiration for your child for the little to biggest achievements is what touches their lives to help them grow to understand they have all the love they need, that through it all anything is possible.
After my husband passed a purpose ignited in me so strong to touch the hearts of all that I could that were grieving, not realizing that in us is not just one set purpose to come to see that so much has happened as a single mom that yet again another purpose ignited an led me to here. To post of it all, the ups, the downs, the tears, the struggles, the good times, the awareness, to let every single mom out there know that they are not alone on the path they walk, that through it all single mothers need to UNITE. That it is not of what others opinions are that mean or define the parent you are, it is the unconditional love of your own for your child and the life you helping grow is what matters.
That to not let the negativity fog the greatness you are doing, that even in the falling down it is ok because life is about falling down but it is also showing your child in the getting back up that there is nothing you can not do if you take that falling down time to understand the lessons in it all, for your child to see you get back up is more than anything in this world, it teaches them that if my mom can do it, then so can I. It is our child that make us strive for the best we got, they allow us to see life with an open heart, to take the great challenges and struggles for them. Soon enough you start to see the intelligence in them through the little words they speak to you of, through the drawings they draw of through the eyes of love given and instilled in them to never lose.
I will forever be grateful for being the mom/daddy that I become today, when my daughter looks to me with that sparkle brighter than anything I smile in knowing the strength of life she carries in her, that because of that there is a single mom behind that sparkle, courage, unconditional love, brightness, dream catcher. Seeing just how smart she is makes me cry of joy knowing I was and still am part of that. So single moms do not despair, take the stand to be grateful, proud, and strong. Look to your child to see alone as a parent they lack nothing a child with two parents have. It is others that make it seem impossible, listen to your own heart feel that love beyond measures and keep taking the strides on the path you walk and obstacles you face. If ever in doubt look to your child to see there is nothing they lack, that they are becoming the loving, strong, successful little beings they want to be because of your faith and belief in them and all they do.
Single mom on, it is you and your child taking on the world, both together there is never anything that can not be done with the love you both hold, that you both have all around you.
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